ic inbox!

[arcum]

( AUDIO ∞ VIDEO ∞ TEXT ∞ ACTION )

Comments

[quivers]

You can't count Cap.

He has the body of an Olympian god. That negates the old.

[arcum]

I'm totally allowed to count Cap. He's old. Just because he doesn't look it doesn't mean he doesn't still say jeepers.

He's old.

Who says my body's shit?

[quivers]

Hey. I LIVE with Cap, okay?
I see that bod for breakfast every morning. I have no complaints.

And if yours isn't that impressive at 32, your chances for anything beyond that are slim.

[arcum]

Of course you live with Cap. Of course.

Hey. We're not the same person thank you very much. I keep in shape. If I'm not working with the Avengers then I'm working on my farm. Which means manual labor and the hot sun. I fix tractors. What's yours fix?

[quivers]

DVR boxes.

[ Okay, that's a lie. He breaks them more than anything. ]

So no bad hip? Arthritis still subtle?

[arcum]

I don't have anything wrong with me. I'm not in the ground. Jeeze.

Dammit. I'm gonna have to prove this to you aren't I? You're just not gonna believe me.

[quivers]

Whoooooa there son.

Keep your panties on. You don't need to flex just to get me to submit to your claims.

[arcum]

Don't call me son.

I wasn't going to flex. I was proving a point.

[quivers]

You were totally going to flex.

[arcum]

Totally wasn't. God. Why am I even arguing with you? You're like twelve. Seriously. What are you even doing here? You shouldn't even be having sex. You should be doing homework or something.

[quivers]

Clinton Francis Barton did not just tell me to not have sex.

[arcum]

I sure as shit did.

[quivers]

Well, Dad, tough luck.
There's a reason I've been here for more a year.

And stop thinking about me having sex.

[ KATE don't start ]

[arcum]

Stop calling me weird names. I have a name. It's Clint.

I wasn't thinking about you having sex. Wow you have a super high opinion of yourself.

[quivers]

It's an exclusive Hawkeye feature.

[arcum]

I'm thinking only to you and your buddy.

[quivers]

Every Clint has Clintisms.

[arcum]

You're just making shit up now.

[quivers]

Number one. Major skepticism.

[arcum]

Stop comparing us. It's weird.

[quivers]

I'm the one who's dealing with two Clints. THAT'S weird.

[arcum]

Fine. We'll just agree that it's pretty fucking weird for both of us.

[quivers]

Agree to agree. Sure. Yeah.

Anyway look -

The point is, I know Bartons get a little grumpy when they get all cooped up on their own. So I'm just saying, if you need someone to shoot arrows around with or something, I'm here.

Or whatever.

[arcum]

Alright. I appreciate that. I'll give you a call.

[ Maybe she just misses this other Clint or something? Who knows. ]

[quivers]

[ Maybe she does. Shut up. ]

Great. Cool. Awesome possum.
See you around then.